(no subject)

[steffish]

This is being written purely for my shitty memory, because damn. The emotional ride this morning was crazy. Seriously, I don't think I've been effected so much by a story, ever. Part of it can be blamed on the lack of sleep, and also on the fact that the very slight hangover from the night before's alcohol had arrived. But. I cried, actually wailed out loud. I thought I was mostly over it, sad for Harry being torn up but okay in general. And then, the ending. Lily, James and Sirius. And OMG Draco. *cries for Draco, wails, screams at the unfairness of the world* That was my actual reaction. It was 6am, and I hadn't slept. I checked the flist one last time, periodically sobbing, then went to bed. I curled up in a ball because it was freezing. I shivered because it was cold. I felt miserable. And I kept sobbing for poor Draco. I honestly felt like I was going to go crazy. My head fuzzed and it was like I was mourning an actual person. Basically, as I said in the last entry, Oscillate Wildly broke me. In a bad way, because of the terrible, dead way it made me feel - but at the same time it was wonderful, I felt so real and alive and... just perfect.

I have a new favourite story. I won't read it often, because that's not the kind of trip you want to go through all the time. I've been broken and I don't think I've quite put myself back together yet. But damn.