steffish

Yesterday was my last day at work, so now I'm unemployed for the first time in over 3 years! I didn't get very much actual work done, since nervousness has fully set in so I was largely trying not to shake or throw up (it's gonna be a fun week...) But I got a morning tea shout, as well as a card and some nice ( gifts )

When I finally got around to going to the Alumni Shop last week to get a Waikato hoodie, it turned out they had no stock and won't be getting more in until after I leave. So that's a bit sad. I've looked in a few other places for a decent top to rep NZ with, but none of them are very nice.

I've made up a ( day by day itemised to do list for this week )

, since it feels like there are still hundreds of things I have to remember. Hopefully I'll be able to stick to it!

Today I've been doing a preliminary sort out of my clothes, so that I can wash &/or mend anything that needs it. It actually looks like everything will fit in my suitcase okay, just that if I actually fill it it'll be too heavy :/ My bags consist of ( one huge check-in and one carry-on that only just fits inside the carry-on size limit )

, as well as my laptop bag.

Some time this week I'm going to have to do a flist-cut :( I have this thing where when I check my flist I have to read back to where I last left off, and since I don't know how limited my access will be in Japan I need to shrink it down. I'll probably friend people back after I get home.

Anyway, while I'm away I don't know if I'll be posting much on here, so if you defriend me you won't be missing much. My main priorities will be my Japan Blog and Facebook, but I'll try and keep up with LJ as well if I can.

ETA: I was just looking through the course listing, since I hadn't since this semester's version came out, and there are so many interesting-looking ones! My list of 'classes I could take' is like 15 long (not counting Speaking and R+W). The one I really want is "Popular Culture as Social Practice: Producing pleasures, styles, identities", but it's impossible to choose between the others. Why can't I just do my whole degree there and take them all? :P

I really, truly envy people who are good with words. Writing essays - hell, even writing LJ posts - is always such a struggle for me. I would love to just be able to knock these things out and know that they're going to have the effect I want, rather than agonizing over every word.

This particular bout of jealousy is brought on by trying to fill in the application forms for Kansai Gaidai. An essay about my 'educational objectives' to help the admissions committee know me better 'as a person'. Another about my 'personality and character' to assist in making an appropriate match with a homestay family. This is like a kind of torture to me. Every time I think about writing these I just feel so overwhelmed and end up putting it off. But I want to get this application finished before the Easter break, so I have to perservere :/

(not even thinking about the huge looming problem of getting references. just. ignoring it.)

I just really, really need for this to all work out. I don't even know what I'll do if I don't get accepted, so every little problem I encounter stresses me out to a ridiculous degree. The other day I went over to the international center to make an appointment with the guy I talked to last year, to check that I'm on track with everything, and the lady at the desk said there wasn't a 'Simon' working there and made me an appointment with Mark instead. So of course I jumped on the Uni website and saw that there is in fact a Simon, and now I'm worried that this appointment is with the completely wrong guy and I'll look like an idiot (and, possibly worse, have to wait another week for another appointment).

*sigh*

Why so useless, self. Just get on with it and stop stressing.

Just sent off an email asking for an appointment with the international advisor. I've begun thinking about "when I go to Kansai Gaidai" rather than "if I go to Kansai Gaidai", so it's time to actually do something about it :D

Very very scary though.