steffish: (social reject)
This is how avoidant I am:  Tonight I made one comment on LJ  (well, and two anon "IAWTC"s on the anon meme), and I felt like I had achieved something socially  :/    OH LOL.

Work today was crazy because of the holidays, and consequently I had a bit of a freak-out and just sat down on the floor in the middle of the lab in the morning, after spilling papers all over the place.  This is why my only ambition is a job that will just pay the rent but not be too difficult; I REALLY REALLY don't cope well with stress.  At least I didn't cry this time!

I promise I'm mostly sane!  Like, at least 60%. 

I feel like I only ever post on here when I'm angry or emo, but I think that's just my tendency of remembering the bad stuff way too much.  (while I'm being crazy:  I still beat myself up over stupid things I said years ago.  Still feel physically ill when I remember an utter blond moment I had on the phone in February.  When I'm invited to visit people I worry that they've changed their mind between when they invited me and when I arrive, and in high school I was once driving to a friend's house and seriously wondered whether she had moved house and not told me and I'd show up at the wrong place.  And I know this is all completely illogical but I just. can't. stop.  It sucks.)

ANYWAY.  I don't have to go to work again until Friday.  All I have to do between now and then is apply for some more jobs, go to the library to get some books to take away for New Years, and then relax at Kauaeranga Valley, which is a lovely way to start the year so long as we leave before any stupid tension starts.  So overall things are actually good, if only I could just see it.

One Week

Jun. 15th, 2007 08:11 pm
steffish: (ineffable - good omens)
Monday: HEROES, WHAT?!

Tuesday: If only I could go back and give my 13-year-old self some advice )
I have no clue why I was in that kind of mood. Just procrastinating from study I think.

Wednesday: Biochem down, it could have gone better.

While flicking through my Micro textbook I got distracted reading a section on STDs. "Avoid sexual activities with individuals from high-risk groups. These include prostitutes (both male and female), promiscuous homosexual men, BISEXUAL INDIVIDUALS, and intravenous drug users..." WHAT the FUCK? Hi, I'm a virgin, and if you have sex with me you should have a blood test for venereal diseases!

Also spent rather too much time drawing in every blank space on my notes rather than reading them. Well, band boys are rather more interesting than the regulation of internal pH in acid conditions XD
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Thursday: Unfortunately yesterday's study method carried over all too well to the Micro exam... The paper's rather covered in doodles, and a few questions were utter mysteries to me. Oops? Think I did okay despite skipping anything to do with antibiotics. And that bit on pH would have been useful after all. Also, finally drew a half-decent looking Gerard (or I thought it looked decent when I had nothing to compare it with, really isn't very good).

Friday: Wow, I'm such a fuck-up. I was utterly off-track in one of my Genetics essays. I'm gonna blame it on the question being so non-specific that I really didn't know what they were asking about.

Anyway, it's all over now! Three weeks' holiday, yayes! Though I already have more things on my to-do list than I have available days D:

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steffish

March 2012

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